.....Life is a Fairy Tale.....

These should technically be at the end.. or maybe only posted AFTER the big day, however, i realized life seems to be getting busier and busier!

 and next time i'll want to write about my honeymoon

 and

 the newlywed life! 

(all the nitty gritty details!)

- not that that will entail much because I really dont want to push the limit here on my blog for the world to read -

:)

So here are a few bridals/groomals...  

 Oh i love the Dandelions.. except if you knew how Jason blew them in my face and I had to pick them out of my hair... I can't imagine what the cake cutting will entail... although I do PLAN on being nice!

Ok... SOOO Here's the story! At least my long extended version!

THE PROPOSAL!!!

It all officially started in Bountiful Utah. I decided last minute to go up there and hang with my soon to be Maid of Honor and just have fun. We just walked around the gateway and then I was starving and it was only like 5:30! My companion said she couldn't  eat till 7 because she had to wait to take her medicine. 

Little did i KNOW... she is a birllant little liar!

So then we went to dinner, and i can't even tell you how cute this place seemed at first. (oh and i forgot to mention i was exhausted cause i worked all day and was running on a few hours of sleep)So it seemed cute.. but LOOKS can be DECIEVING! BECAUSE the people weren't so cute! It was insanely overpriced and not all that good, and i was starving so really anything would have tasted divine!

All i wanted was to order from the kids menu for a few reasons...

1) Cheaper

2) Less food AND you get what you pay for!

3) I didnt want to stuff myself and everything else was HUGE 

4) the adult combos didnt have things combined i wanted.

Needless to say i asked the waitress if I could order from it. She said No, and wasn't too nice.. so i was like, fine and i got some thing that i didnt even like. 

So i was just ready to go. (oh and my girl with me claimed she had to go to my car and grab her pills cause they "fell out" of her bag- and i totally believed her because i had NO REASON to believe Jason would  be up here.)

So we asked for our checks and then the waiter came...and gave me.. NOT my check .. but a little blue envelope with a red ribbon.

ME, being UPSET still about NO KIDS MEAL! AND the GROSS food, thought.. "whats this an apology letter?!" 

To which my companion i was with replied.. "open it" and i said NO, i dont want to. Then she said "what if someone paid for your dinner?" 

So.. I opened it. 

I find a little cute paper all burnt around the edges and had cute little typing with a little line (clue) on the back corner.

The clue was to somewhere i had NO CLUE where it was exactly.. but my companion was like lets go there! I was extremely hesitant because i didn't know who it was from because I KNEW jason worked a double shift that day and had to teach the lesson in church the next day so there was NOWAY he would be down. But she was so on going. So we went.. 

the clue: was something about a round about between draper and lehi.

 ( a 45 min drive from where we were)   

So we get up there and this is the weather...

We literally COULDNT see! we thought we were gonna die! So... we had a lil flash back and had COMPANION PRAYER! 

prayer changes things- proof is we lived through it :) 

so this is what it looked like outside...

 Well there was NO round about and we went all the way through the pass and we were back in lehi! ha.. well .. we went to my house for a potty stop, and to try and map quest this. I was like whatever.. ill just look tomorrow when its not crazy, my companion, however, was like k get a flash light we have to find this. - so i had a feeling something was up and it had to do with jason, but i figured maybe his brother was planting all these and Jason was gonna torture me ALL week  because that is something he would totally Do! 

SO....

Finally we were up there again.. and this is me... 

And It took over two full hours to get here.. that was not "his plan" but we found a four way stop.. 

we would jump out at every corner and run around outside (yes i was wearing sandels) 

and we were pushing the snow aside around every tree stump with our feet trying to find a red ribbon.. 

after one corner we'd jump back in the car and drive to the next and jump out and look again.

FINALLY

The LAST CORNER.. i found this... 

How adorable.. he made the little boxes i found out.. - i dont remember what its called, finished them? 

haha

on the inside was this scrolled little note! you can see the burnt edges.. and it said something 

ADORABLE

on how we both reached "this point" at different times in our lifes and now we get to go down

TOGETHER...

it may not be easier but we'll have each other!

SO CUTE! 

The back of that one had a clue:

HOT TUB!

hahaha yeah i thought.. ya right! my companion had brought my swimsuit that i had left at her house.. but it was a total coincidence. 

However, i still replied and said.. i am not going hot tubing! I can't! 

I HAVE A BROKEN ARM ! 

so i thought on it and was like ok.. the only place we've been hot tubing together was my aunt cheri's house...

so we then drove to Alpine.

So there i am.. out searching around her closed hot tub and can't find a thing is the dark. My cousins turned the light on for me and then said, after looking with me too, "did you check the inside?" to which i said , "well yes" but it was in the dark.

Then they said how about opening it from the back side. 

So my cousin opened it and found a little bottle floating on the inside.. with a BLUE ENVELOPE IN RED RIBBON, stuffed inside!

Needless to say.. we ran to the car and opened it and read it...

It talked of how we were here and we were talking about so many things and what a fun time it was- with a bunch of cute other ROMANTIC things said as well :)

and this had the burnt edges paper-future reference.. they ALL did.

THE CLUE: The APOLLO?

Oh and of course before going there.. we made a Cold STONE run! I was SO TIRED and had a feeling it was gonna be a long night cause I still had to drive my companion back to Bountiful (north of salt lake) and we were in American Fork.

So the Apollo is where we would go dancing in High School and I had first taught Jason to dance!

BUT
THE APOLLO had been closed for YEARS! or so i thought.. 

I got there and they had just barley reopened that week! I walked inside and a lady asked, "are you Rachel? We've been dying all night to open this and see whats inside!" haha It was another cute wooden box tied with a red ribbon! I said it was a clue.. and then we talked about they're reopening cause i was more excited about that at the moment!! haha thats me and my country dancing love, esp at The Apollo.

So i get to my car and open this box. Jason had written how This was ALL my Fault. I got him to go dancing ONCE! HE thought he'd be doing the Dose Doe ALL NIGHT, but instead that night when he got home he was dreaming of all the fun crazy lifts i had taught him and him throwing me around! 

So yes.. ALL you who think its sounds lame.. its not :)

AND 

IT IS 

THE BEST 

WORKOUT!

The CLUE: LOOK UNDER THE SEAT OF YOUR CAR

my reply..." ARE YOU SERIOUS!"

(while looking at my companion.)

so then i try, with my broken arm which isn't fitting, i try! to get out the little envelop under my car!

- my companion unlocked my car when " her medicine fell out"-

This note said...

"SERIOUSLY?! Thats what you said to me when i asked you if you wanted to go look at rings. Yes seriously!" Then he wrote of how we drove in this car from Cedar City to Lehi talking of the possible "future plans" that was are now making, with all the cute mushy stuff inbetween.

THE CLUE: The TEMPLE!

Thanks Goodness, he wrote which one cause we've been to Timp, Draper, and St George together. 

So off to Timp we were. 

I searched the Grounds and found another Wooden Box with a Red RIBBON! and also.. a not so nice security guard! 

haha yea... that was interesting.

So this cute note has a little testimony of the savior at the top and then talked of how he had talked to my dad and my dad had him promise him two things.

1) that he would take me to the temple

2) that he would treat me as Heavenly Father would treat his Daughter

Then it said some more cute things.. but i'll share the ending... 

"How grateful I am to have the temple to be married to you for time and all eternity because i know NO other amount of time would be long enough"

YEP! he's so CUTE! and not to mention tears came to my eyes on that one.. and ALL i wanted to do was SEE HIM! I didn't care about anything! 

THE CLUE - (yes is goes on on on on on!) 

YOUR GUITAR! 

Ha by then.. i was just SO tired and said, "You've got to be kidding me! MY GUITAR IS IN PROVO!!!"  It was like a little past 11:00 pm. 

So off to provo.....

AND.. THE FREEWAY WAS CLOSED SO TRAFFIC= HORRID!

We get to my apartment, i look everywhere around my guitar and can't find a thing around my guitar or case. So my companion mentioned to look INSIDE the guitar. 

I shake it and here something ever so quiet...

Inside was ANOTHER!!! blue envelop with the RED RIBBON

This cute one had the lyrics of the song i wrote on the guitar for him called 

"MY ETERNITY" (you plus me)

To which the last line he changed my lyric to "OUR ETERNITY"

Then below that he had the lyrics to the song he wrote me on the guitar.. 

the last verse said...

"i hope this gamble of mine doesnt break my heart in two.. 

IF YOU ONLY KNEW...

would you stay in my life..

would you be my wife?

i hope you feel the same as i do too."

(he had never sang me these last few lines...)

so then.. i thought what the...! is this it! the proposal! where is HE?! 

my companion said," i dont know schwartz... i thought it ended here" and she threw my camera on my bed. 

The CLUE: DEC 11th 2010

12:05

Haha yeah.. i thought... haha 12:05! what the heck.. 

then i realized that was our first date, being reunited after not seeing each other since before his mission- like 4+ yrs.

then i realized dancing got over at 12 and it was 12:03 am!

So i said, come on hurry lets go!

WE drove to the CENTER in provo where country dancing is.

I walked inside and had to stand there, in the middle.. with NO MUSIC! all by myself. 

My thoughs- No WAY.. THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING .... EVERYONE is looking at me...

oh these dull lights.. cement floors.. is it really here.. is he proposing to me HERE!

THEN... another person walked up to me and said, "are you Rachel?" to which i replied.. 

with a sad tone now.. "yes.... :( " 

he pulled out behind his back ANOTHER box with the RED RIBBON and said, 

"you should go home"

I thought.. you've got to be kidding me.. i was just there.. home in provo.. home in lehi... is this the end of my search tonight and more starts later.. cause i knew he'd be up the following week... 

Well while walking to the car.. everyone was starring! I opened the box and inside...

was...

MY RING!!! 

I hurried and flipped it closed, had a sense of panic.. didnt know if i was supposed to see it! and turned to my companion and said.. ITS THE RING!

she was like, hurry lets go to the car so we can look at it!

We RUN to my Car.. 

and then ....

up ran JASON.... 

My companion had snuck my camera back in her bag, that i thought she threw on my bed saying it was over... she knew.. but that the apt was my last place- hence she is a GREAT lil liar! 

 WHEN NEEDED ONLY ... OF COURSE

I was just so excited to SEE HIM... 

Then he got down on a knee and said something cute.. about how he hoped i would follow him anywhere and he asked me if i would marry him... 

Of COURSE i said YES! How could i even joke with him like i planned on.. with that being 

THE CUTEST proposal EVER! 

I just said YES! and smiled so big.. and wanted to jump up and down , like a little girl on christmas.

Then we hugged.. kissed.. hugged.. in the dark street.. and hugged.. 

you get the point...

Then he took the box from me and asked if I had seen it..

sheepishly i said.. yes but only for a sec.. i didnt know.. i hurried and closed it! 

He laughed and said, "Its ok" and then he put it on my finger.

just a lil side note... HE PICKED IT OUT! all by himself!

All i told him was i love the emerald cut.. and HAVE FUN!

(haha don't worry he returned the same favor and hopefully he'll like his as much as i LOVE mine)

We Then DROVE my companion all the way back to bountiful and got home at like 2:45 am.

He dropped my off.. and then picked me up for church, dropped me off and then left back to Cedar City

.... so he could teach his lesson... 

That he still hadn't prepared!

And That folks... is the beginning of OUR 

HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

Voce Melouca!

After Near 4 years of seeing Him.. he said, "Me, You, Country Dancing this Saturday Night?"

To which my Reply was.. Heck yes!

So country dancing, as once again reunited friends. I thought nothing would come of it

I just realized that night, I smiled a TON with Him, and was totally myself in EVERY way

and I didn't care! 

Its HOW it SHOULD be...

Life Has CHANGED As I Know It.

turned upside down you might say.. 

One day I was just working on me, finding myself again

reshaping myself again, improving.. 

AND THEN...

 I met, or re met you could say. . 

....The Man of My DrEaMs...

 Ken.

(ha, some may get that joke and some may not-but just a inside fill in.. I oft times, on my mission, needless to say, was referred to as barbie.. and well.. I found my Ken.)

It all really... started STARTED ...Christmas night. After the emperors groove-the movie was over. 

I was SORE from the sledding escapade the night before. 

And we were talking about everything you could think of basically.. 

From missions... to clicking with someone on different levels...

...to personal bubbles being broken... to door step scenes... 

THEN... 

he said, "turn" (while grabbing my shoulders and turning my back to him)

then he started giving me a back rub! 

PERSONAL BUBBLE PARTIALLY BROKEN!!!!!

(in the "i think i like you more than a friend sort of way.. or i think i could.. )

Mind you... He and I Have been country dancing many times, (starting in high school, when my best friend liked him and i was dating another guy) which means close, and i mean very close dancing - WITH lifts! which does require...at times different kinds of bodily contact and in some cases, some  might think.. AKward Places. 

So this Bubble breaking thing was HUGE, because it was in a different sort of way. ;)

Now He claims I was the intial one putting forth the most pursuing flirting,

did I mention, we are both stubborn? Ya, imagine that. Literally like my TWIN! 

ITS PERFECT

So after Christmas.. he and I both.. had equal flirting flexting conversations. . (REALLY it was equal)

another side note, hes been the easiest person to flirt with EVER! It just COMES! Hence, the best part...

I TRULY AM BEING ME!

So then it began.. I made a SPONTANEOUS trip down to Cedar City on New YEARS  day... 

(I claimed I had a few people to visit.. which was true, and school was about to start so I did wanna just go somehwhere else.. and then.. TRUTH- I did wanna see him again.. just to see if I did like him more than possibly just a friend. Not that I thought anything COULD possibly happen, since he lives 3 hours AWAY.

and... He is Pretty Crazy and I knew I'd do something fun..

Well.. Long story short... BUBBLE (of mine) TOTALLY BROKEN!

(No a kiss did not happen.. just a sweet cuddle session while watching UP and HERCULES)

-we both LOVE (and i say both cause thats basically all he owns/owned) disney movies, cause lets be honest, how many people love disney movies, but just don't watch them by themselves? -

Oh and He also took me snow shoeing.. my fingers and toes froze,

 hence cuddling after was needed for survival. 

OH also, when I Left he tortured me with the Words.. "If you ONLY knew" , which he told me he was gonna write a song with and sing to me later.. in portugese so i wouldnt understand.. which, by the way, came out in ENGLISH  -point for me, right babe?  ;)

Gosh I miss him BAD right now- I could just do a whole blog with pictures and what not of him, haha but he might find that creepy stalker like... hahaha -totally kidding about that idea, by the way.

So then... He couldn't resist not knowing if something was there with us or not, so of course.. two days after I left.. he drove up here "spontaneously" -ya stealing my grand ideas, i know... 

(...meant to be...)

but he didn't have school for a week more.. so.. i guess it was one last break trip right?!

Well that week.. what happened... oh yes, a KISS!

But.. just so you know.. I did KISS him! - on the lips that is.

He kissed my cheek and ran off, so i called after him (thinking .. um lame.. ) and then he was like what?!

so I said "wait" and hugged him and kissed his cheek.. then pulled back.. and kissed the LiPs.

I'll be honest.. I wasn't too sure about the whole thing.. I mean.. it was HIM! I knew him since HS and my best friend and a bunch of other girls i knew.. had crushes on him (no, i never did-shocking)

So yeah.. I wasn't sure. We saw.. our choir teacher.. and we sang a Duet for her class- Homeward Bound

I loved being around him, but when I kissed him.. it just felt kinda weird.. cause one, I couldnt get past the fact it was Him.. and Me! KISSING! and so.. also.. I didn't feel much.. that spark ya know

(also, i was still trying to work on me and get over some things/another guy)

.... i was all sorts of confused....

But I LOVED being around him and had fun! - I say all this now.. cause come to find out.. he had the exact same feelings at basically the same times-

Well He left again.. and then came up again the next weekend! We went country dancing again and made homemade icecream and danced in the front room and just had fun being together. 

Went to hot tubing at my aunts, monday night before he left.. and we talked for like an hr and a half on the phone while he drived home.

we played a game where any question goes, you have to answer it- honestly- but you can ask the same question back. I had already been pretty good with my questions up to this point, but these were the deeper random, only some of them, that you ask to get to know someone better..

He hesitated, but agreed to play.. 

...my First question... 

"What was your favorite Halloween costume and why?"

haha ya... so talking to him on the way home.. for a long period of time.. i truly began to start falling for him.

Two weeks passed before I saw him again, but this time I drove down there (we had been talking everyday since christmas, just a side note). It was that weekend I knew.. or well.. I realized I was falling in Love with him. I wanted to say the L word that weekend. Yes, fast I know, however, My stubborn self would not allow it.

K this is RIDICULOUSLY too long now.. I'm even getting tired! But I love you's came soon.

And....

 I realized...

 I found my KEN! 

(my dad was the first one I told.. and I drove home that night in happy tears cause I felt so blessed cause nothing has ever felt so right, and I just couldnt express my love to Heavenly Father through my sobbing tears, for allowing me to date such a great guy- who I CLICKED with as MYSELF! on So many levels!!

SO MUCH FUN 

....in the Future....

.........

 COMING SOON!

ps... I'll have you know.. this is G rated.. no Make Outs Have Happened! 

and I'm as happy as a little girl on christmas! I don't need that, its partially how I knew ;)

Falling Where I didn't See..

a SPADE is a SPADE..
I think back to the days

when things seemed most important

there you were

 there I was

(Honesty)

Im scared of hurt

but

 I took a RISK.

I've already laid my heart out there

now, its patience (and tons of fun-might i add) until I find what will come.

Trust, hope, faith, and charity. 

I honestly would have NEVER thought. 

What is to be...?

"day by day"

 Oh...moments I do daydream

I wonder what will happen

(oh well. its not all in my hands)

play. HAVE fun. LIVE life...

when i Feel.. I'm lost but awake and alive, yet never has anything felt so right

I just DONT know...well I do.. I just Haven't voiced it.. out of my thoughts

I was going to say.. "waiting" but really waiting has a negative thought with it, so...

"Soaking" ... the moments are precious

Oh how it cools me... 

I love..

"Day... bye ..Day" 

Today I'm sneezy, dopey, happy, doc, bashful, sleepy, grumpy.

I have a cold. (sneezy) So I came home from work early today.(grumpy- i like my job, didn't want to leave exactly) I thought to myself.. hmmm what to do when you don't feel like doing anything.(sleepy) 

Hurts to swallow even. 

 Coughing hurts my internal spinal column, thanks to my sledding escapade. I think I have a bruised bone and possibly a flu bug.(doc)

Haha, yes its still humorous.

(esp while the roomie watches me get in and out of the car, and we see an older couple and one had a cane... hahaha how i could relate in that moment.)

(Dopey)

 Oh the joy of holiday break. 

So I get home and decide to study some notes preparing for this upcoming semester. What do I find... my journal from 11th and 12th grade. Oh the bliss of reading that in my comfy bed and warm blankets. Why would I ever choose to leave home?

I learned so much about myself and who i've become. What I thought of dating then as to what I think of it now. My spiritual comments then, mean the world to me now. It was so simple and did not seem the least bit complex. News flash rach- its still simple. the end.

So I've had a good week of what my dear friend calls "flexting." Along with a few personal encounters.(bashful)We shall see if this goes anywhere. Oh the irony though, of how things come to be. Never in my life would I have thought....hahaha and now I do. 

Logically.  

Then reading of the encounters from the journal of 12th grade.

 I'm contemplating things, then I remind myself to live in the moment- Don't think to much, just live and be free. 

If your not living on the edge your taking up space. Be smart, and take steps. Make choices. Because, *boom snap* 

The Holy Ghost can't guide me if ....I'm not to steppin'

 Once again, back to my carefree self. Taking Risks. Just smart ones this time....

 Its not about trusting the world again, but trusting myself.

 "  I am ME." 

Take it, OR leave it? 

(happy)

Sledding.. Humorous Pain

So today this guy friend invited me to go sledding. Forewarning me as well that usually last a total of about 10 minutes until someone gets hurt and they are done... well I believed that, except I didn't really process it in my mind. So up american fork canyon we go and we go to a place called the bowl. Sounds dangerous, yes it is DANGEROUS. hahaha but fun. You see, a few hurt backs, arms, necks, and for me... my tail bone. It was the first time I ever went feet first sledding. It always seemed more dangerous to me than head first, because but first, you fly in the air off bumps and then land on your back, shoulder, head, ect. Not to mention the rain the last few days, made this place icy. One of the sleds broke even and the other was on the edge.
so me, little miss rachel, who hasn't been in the snow for over 2 years, was pretty excited. They said to probably go feet first, that might be safer. lol so i did. First round i flew in the air and landed just fine and slid down the mtn on my back. Second time, we switched sleds. It was one that was unfamiliar to me. never been on that type before. it was on you can't steer, pure plastic and not sturdy. So i go. BAM! i fly in the air and land straight on my tail bone, lower back, rolled a few times and then just layed there. I couldn't move for a second and didnt want to. Everything felt sore.  Finally, of course being the stubborn high pain tolerance person i am, i stood up and they said, "Rachel, im taking that sled from you." my sledding days in the bowl are over.. for now. Your only as safe as your sled. Well now that its been 2 hours.. the pain is setting in. Family things tonight.. hahaha and i breathe and there is a slight pain down my back. Im sure this is sounded a lot worse than it really is. But also.. i can't really sit. I can but, if i sit in one spot for longer than a few minutes. Pain. so its painful, and just better to stand or lay flat. hopefully its just bruised and nothing more. The limbs move just fine and it could be worse. Im not complaining either... it was totally fun, I just find it humorous that sledding- it was for the jumps and to see how high you could fly and how cool it was till you got hurt. haha anyhow, it hurts to bend. everything feels compressed. And im just laughing. oh the joy of my first sledding experience home. I didnt ever think of it as a dangerous thing until now. Tomorrow should be interesting.

My Amusement Park

Can I just say..(well I can its my blog) I love that its break cause now I have more time to blog and about more things I care to write. Not as my out, but for enjoyment. :)...scratch that.. its for both. 

 Life is a Roller Coaster!

         ROLLER COASTERS are interesting things. One rides one for excitement, some to get over a fear so they can say they've just done it. One might do it cause peer pressure while the other is running to the line anxiously waiting for their turn. I think of the different times been at a theme park and when i would run to a line and when i would slowly approach it. At lagoon for example, (theme park in utah) i love the screamer when i was younger cause it gave me that excitement and it was constant turning in the a circle up and down constantly, but i knew what was coming. 

The Magic carpet i loved because i would have some time when it paused at the top to look around and the excitement of not know which direction it would fall thrilled me.  (sorry no picture available)

Then there is the all famous Rocket ride... 

You see.. its pretty tall up there and you can have two different ride options. One- it will shoot off and blast you up the tower, or it takes you to the top very slowly then (some count to try and predict) it drops you suddenly and your body is inches off your seat. 

I love the rocket, (re entry) esp the one where you go to the top and wait to fall. I love that i know whats happening on the way up and im in control, then unexpectedly it all is out of my control and all I can do is hang on and scream my little heart out then laugh after because the rush was amazing. The blast off, is great because im just ready for it to happen and I don't have time to "worry".

Then there is the Colossus.. the Ride I dreaded as a child.. and it makes sense why.. 

As a child I was terrified of this ride.. it takes you up a steep incline then drops you and you have enough force and gravity from the fall to make is all the way around the whole roller coaster. There are two loops and then lots of twists, jerks, side turn like things. Sometimes its going so fast that your just in a blurred vision and its constantly going and you don't know where to look. Some parts I would finally dare to throw my hands in the air but then bring them back down. I heard terrible stories of a child of how people would fall out in the top of the circle and die. Needless to say, I was petrified! Now though, as an adult, I don't mind riding the Colossus, it's fun, but its still not my favorite ride. Maybe I just need to get used to it. Everyone has a different feel on roller coaster and they life them for different reasons.  This is what I've decided though... 

My life feels like a roller coaster

sometimes I'm on certain rides by running to them

others I slowly walk.. 

and some I'm purely talked into getting on.

None the less, each time I'm done at the theme park, it was a overall fun day. 

Life is the same way... except sometimes I feel like this man...

Thats RIGHT- a one man ride roller coaster. Could you imagine going on that colossus like that. ALL BY YOURSELF. Esp the COLOSSUS.... BeCaUsE..... - i'd be terrified my weight wouldn't take me all along the track , two- i have no one to scream with and then laugh with after, just those on the sidelines watching, and three- basically these are all just fears im naming so i'll end here.

I've decided instead on analyzing everything in my life, I'm going to jump on my Roller coaster and throw my hands in the air. *sing ayo... baby lets go* ... ha! :) There have been moments this last week where I've been extremely happy, content, on cloud nine you could even say. So many great things have happened. Then there is a little moment where I have a thought, fear, or insecurity. 

"Some of the greatest battles are fought among the concepts of our own minds." 

Why do I allow my thoughts to come in sometimes and then i worry, stress, ect. Normally I'm not like that, I'm usually a care free person and just go with it. Im trying to pin point what got me to this place. Well my favorite scripture is Mosiah 4:30. Because ONE i love the word REMEMBER.. and i am a ponderer. But its true how everything starts with a thought. I see this last week when i kept my thoughts always happy and optimistic and didn't allow myself to think anything else, i was super happy. I used to be like this ALL the time i felt like. Then something hit when i got home from the mission and well there were thoughts i hadn't had in basically two years and i wasn't cautioned enough and let some come in thinking it was life and i just needed to deal with it. There were also though thoughts that might have tempted my mind before the mission that didn't even try to surface. Man the mind it powerful and you are what you think. So Im going to work on this... my thoughts and them being in the right attitude of mind. Happy. It's how I love living my life and how i usually do. Not to say trials don't come. I'm rambling now, back to my roller coaster.

So I was thinking.. Does life ever even out? It feels like a roller coaster with so many highs and lows all in the same day. 

Well... thinking more on a medical base now... this picture here below... 

"When you get hooked up to a heart monitor, you don't want to see a straight line. That's bad news. It's the up and down lines that let you know your alive."

The highs and lows let us know we are participating and not just observing, learning and not just existing. 

This could also be related to mtns, hiking, and valleys. We've all heard those analogies before, how the valleys of discouragement make more beautiful the peaks of achievement. Which is so true, but i like my Roller Coaster.

I finished reading this great book and its made me look at life a bit differently and helped my emotions In so many ways. Life isn't about justification, Its about love. Its always been about love. Thats the churches beacon to the world. I'm choosing to love and take my loops coming at me with hands  thrown in the air. After all that is immense trust, and I'm a very Trusting girl. I know who constructed my personal coaster. 

Favorite scripture from the bible Proverbs 3:5-6 

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths."

What can I say.. its that Kellogg Care Free Blood we Got.

ATTITUDE